Ask Aunt Mary

Every Thursday, the Maple Falls Gazette, a small newspaper in Ontario, prints a page called "Ask Aunt Mary". Nobody knows who Aunt Mary is, but everybody in town reads her answers.

"Dear Aunt Mary, my neighbor plays the drums every night from ten to midnight. I have to get up at five for work. What should I do? Tired in Elm Street."

Aunt Mary says: You shouldn't shout, and you shouldn't call the police yet. First, you should talk to him. Take a cake. People are nicer when they're eating cake. If that doesn't work, buy him a book about the piano.

"Dear Aunt Mary, my son is fifteen. He doesn't help at home. He doesn't make his bed, he doesn't wash a plate, and he sleeps until noon on Saturdays. Should I be stricter? Worried Mother."

Aunt Mary says: Yes, a bit. He doesn't have to cook dinner every night, but he has to do something. Give him two jobs, not ten. And don't do them for him when he forgets. A boy with no clean plates learns to wash plates very fast.

"Dear Aunt Mary, I have a problem with shoes. I have forty-two pairs, and I only have two feet. Last week I bought three more. My wife says I have to stop. Is she right? Big Feet."

Aunt Mary says: Your wife is right. Forty-two pairs is a lot, and forty-five is more. You don't have to throw them away, but you should stop buying. Here's a rule: for every new pair, you have to give away two old ones. And you should take your wife out for dinner, because she has been very patient. Wear your best shoes.

That's all for this week. Write to Aunt Mary at the Gazette, or leave your letter in the blue box outside the library. She has advice for everyone, even the mailman.