The Small Talk Champion

Ignacio is an engineer from Rosario, Argentina. Last year he moved to London for a new job. He loved the work, but he had one big problem: every morning in the office kitchen, his colleagues talked and talked, and he didn't know what to say.

"They talk about nothing!" he told his neighbor, Mrs. Patel, one evening. "Not about nothing," she said. "That's small talk. It's very important here. I can teach you. There are only three topics: the weather, the weekend and the trains."

The first lesson was the weather. "When it rains, you say: Terrible weather, isn't it? When the sun comes out, you say: Lovely day!" Mrs. Patel explained. "And if someone says I hate this rain, you say: So do I."

The second lesson was the weekend. On Friday you ask: Any plans for the weekend? On Monday you ask: Did you have a good weekend? "And the trains?" Ignacio asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "The trains are always late. Everyone agrees."

On Monday morning Ignacio walked into the office kitchen. It was raining. "Awful weather, isn't it?" he said. "Awful," said his colleague Sarah. "My train was twenty minutes late." "So was mine!" said Ignacio. Sarah smiled. "I didn't go out all weekend." "Neither did I," he said.

Two months later, Ignacio was the small talk champion of the office. He could talk about the weather for ten minutes. He knew the name of every train line. His colleagues loved him, and nobody remembered the quiet engineer from Argentina.

Now, when a new colleague arrives from another country, Ignacio takes them to the kitchen and says: "Don't worry. There are only three topics. Let me explain."